Analie woke up to the sound of drums. They were playing rather wildly.
Look at the sentences above. One thing that also sparks the reader's attention is some weird beginning. Also try and use at least 1-3 adjectives in every 2 or 3 sentences. That gives the reader the idea that they are right next to the main character.
"Ugh, I don't wanna wake up!" Analie mumbled to no one. Then she felt tapping on her shoulder. She shuddered and almost screamed.
Look at these sentences now. Be sure to not use the character's name in every sentence. It seems like all you are focusing on is the main character, not all of the other details that paint the background of your story.
"Analie, are you okay? Did someone just scream?" her mother called up to her room.
"No, Mom, it was just me! I'm fine!" Analie replied back. The tapping on her shoulder continued.
One big rule to writing is to almost NEVER use 3-4- letter word that are adjectives! And if something is happening again in your book that has happened before, do not use the same word to describe it! So, since the word 'continued' sounds a little dull, will replace it with 'resumed'.
The tapping on her shoulder continued. The tapping on her shoulder resumed.
That's better! So, how do you like it so far? I will continue it in other posts. Thanks for looking!
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